The Secret Lives of Cats

I have not written about the cats lately. They are as different from each other as my children.

Lilly is fluffy, clean, long-haired. She has a massive tail and tiny little crossed eyes that make her look sweet and a bit worried.

Bongo has short, wiry fur and a tiny body for such a fierce warrior. He's a bundle of muscles and curiosity and dirt.

We have been in and out of town a lot lately. The cats are allowed outside, but when we are gone, I just lock them in.

When we return, both run outside immediately to roll around on the driveway, because that's way better than rolling around on the wood floor. Then they follow us around for a while to say "we missed you", then it's business as usual.

For Lilly, she sits near a bush and watches the bugs fly around.

Bongo will rush around looking for something to kill and when it's dead he brings it back for Lilly to play with.

I often imagine what they do for days on end when we are away. Maybe something like this...

Lilly: "Bongo, there's no use trying to get outside, why don't you follow my lead and take a bath or something?"

Bongo: "Quiet! I see a squirrel. If I paw at this glass hard enough I think I'll get out.

Lilly: "If you really want to do something productive, see if you can get that bag of treats open."

Bongo: "Treats! My treat is that BIRD right outside, aaaahhh, must get BIRD!

Lilly: "Bongo, where are you going now? That's the family room, you can't get out that way either and the food, water, and couch are over here...OH, not again! I've told you a million times, the only thing that happens when you climb up the inside of the fireplace is you get more filthy!"

Bongo: "OK, I'm at the top, I can smell the outside, but you're right, and I'm stuck again. Can you talk me down? I keep forgetting how to climb backwards."

Lilly; "I'll help you out of the chimney, but you HAVE to promise to bathe once I get you out."

Bongo: (Claws crossed) "OK, I'll do it, now get me down so I can look for another escape route."

Lilly: "It's been two days, could you spare a moment to get the soot off the underside of your feet and maybe clean your ass while you are at it?"

Bongo: "Stop complaining, I licked my tail for a while yesterday, jeez. LIZARD! Oh god, my life sucks. Where ARE my humans?"

...and so on.